crazed

by jamie

(georgia usa)

I feel like my mind is running at 1000mph. I’m 24 years old and I feel like I’m 60 trying to make up for or get to some point before I die…

Medical doctors would say it’s anxiety.
It’s bigger than that… I need to achieve some point in my life. I want to go somewhere but I have no clue where it is I want to get to…

A christian based person would see me as an easy mark, but it’s on such a more intelligent level than that.

I need to find clarity to get to this point. I need something to center myself and my energy so I can use it properly. Something to contain the madness in a pure solid methodical way.

Since I was little I knew I would be “above average” at something. I would have/do more than others… I have yet to figure out what it is but it’s still there… something inside me kept telling myself to find a way to organize the madness before it drives me crazy.

I think this is it… I have done some amateur like meditation and I have actually scared myself after being able to view the world around me in a weird “DUH!” kind of way… I need more of those awakening moments to keep me from running hot…